300 and counting

So I keep gaining weight. Honestly I have done nothing to change my diet, life style, or pursuit of losing 100 lbs in 300 days. I tend to get good, sometimes great, ideas and just state them and do nothing. It happens a ton in my private life. My wife can attest that I will make proclamations of change, movement, conquest, epicness, and other grandiose ideas. Once they have left my mouth, the drive I felt in the idea has passed. It's almost like the more people I tell the less inspired I am to do it. It's more about the idea and how clever/cool/awesome it is/was than actually putting in the effort to accomplish it.

I feel like my relationship with Christ is much the same. I read books, pray prayers, sing songs, and even serve His people with no drive or desire to cultivate a closer relationship. It's typically me talking about serving or doing or learning that leads to nothing. It's usually when I am forced, asked (because everyone knows I can't say No to anything), or feel so guilty it hurts that I actually do something for Christ. I know that this is the opposite of what Christ desires for my life. I know what scripture says and I know how I am 'supposed' to live.

As I get older I am beginning to separate the real from the fake. What I mean by this is that I know now that deceiving myself into believing that I did something just by saying it is crap. Let me explain via a story. When I was younger, I had convinced myself that I was the next Johnny Bench. I did this through my own ideas and dreams, not anything that was real. I didn't make any little league all-star games, I didn't bat above .200, and I didn't have a great arm. In my mind I had convinced myself that I was as good as he was despite all of my faults. The truth was I couldn't play baseball well at all. It was delusional at best. I know kids should dream, but in hind sight I wish someone would have told me how bad I was and awoken me from this lie. It would have helped me figure this whole thing out much sooner.

I think after many years of delusion something is breaking through. I think the vale of lies is beginning to be lifted in my life and the truth is shinning in. I pray that God awakens my mind to the truth of this life and the lies I left myself believe about following Him.

100 in 300

So most everyone who has talked to me in the last year knows that in May I "ran" a half marathon. At the time I was in the best physical health of my life. Now I struggle daily to control what and how much I eat. It's not that I am not aware of the weight I have gained back, it's just like I don't acknowledge it. I almost see myself as I was just 6 months ago instead of seeing the 300lbs guy in the mirror. I thought about why I gained all my weight back and the only conclusion I can come to is that I stopped trusting God with this area of my life. I 'took the wheel' so to speak and ran off the road into a huge ditch. I like to make a big deal of things and I like to feel proud of myself. So 'running' this race gave me satisfaction and made me think I could control all of this. When in reality it was my lack of control that got me to my goal. It was trusting God with every daily food based decision that got me to where I was just 6 short months ago.

"I know that you will, over come Evil for Good." This is a line from Elle G a song by Newsboys (old school Newsboys). It happened to be on while I was righting this post. I know that God can overcome evil for good in my life. I just have to wake up every morning and put my faith/trust/life in His hands. I am making a pledge right here in now to lose 100lbs in 300 days. I am making this pledge to the God who created me, who can move mountains, and create planets. I have faith in my God to be bigger than my desires and compulsions to eat myself to death. I will not let Satan destroy the man that God has made me. I will not let sin rule my life. I know God will over come EVIL for GOOD! Day 1 is today, I weight 300.2lbs. Please pray for me as I know the attacks will be worse than ever. The temptations will be stronger and harder. My God is Stronger! My God is Bigger! My God is All Powerful!

History repeating

Starting to realize humanity isn't doing anything it hasn't done before. Read any sort of history book and you will see it's all about humans trying to outdo other humans. The cause to over throw and conquer an evil usually begins as a noble one. Overtime that cause becomes corrupted and the humans in power and the society around them turn evil. Then it is only a matter of time before another group of humans find a similar noble cause to over throw and conquer evil. The sad part is that God wants nothing more than “evil” and “noble” humans to love and experience grace. He wants it so much that he came to earth in human form to show us. Even when he did this, once noble humans who had become evil attempted to "over throw" His love. Fortunately for us His love was, is, and always will be the end game. The Love of God overcame corruption, greed, evil, and death! I don't know about you, but I put my trust in the God of Love and Grace. The God that overcomes all evil and loves eternally. More than anything else in my life I want to live for the God of Love and Grace. I would love to talk to you about Him. Drop me a line and I will buy you coffee sometime.

March Madness

I love College Basketball. I love the NCAA tournament (not the kind of love I wrote about in this post, it's more like a strong like than real love). I am a big college hoops fan, period. The pace of the game is awesome. The heart and effort these players put into playing, awesome. In my opinion it is sport in it's purest form. Granted these guys are all trying to make it into the NBA and make millions, so that is a factor in how they play. That being said, it's hard to find a more pure form of major college or professional sport than college basketball. I really do enjoy filling out my bracket and the surprise upsets that happen every year.

I always wonder how and why certain teams get certain seeding. A good example of a weird seeding would be Kentucky in this years tournament. They were ranked 16th in the county going into the SEC tournament. Florida was ranked 12th going into the same tournament. Kentucky ran through everyone and won the whole thing. They physically beat the snot out of Florida in the SEC title game. I figured this would push the Cats up to a 3 or even 2 seed in the NCAA Tourney. In turn I also thought the Gators had sealed a 3 seed at most. When the brackets came out Kentucky was given a 4 seed and placed in the same bracket as OSU and UNC. Once I saw this I figured Florida must have gotten a 4 seed as well, all things considered. Shortly after I found that Florida had been given a 2 seed in arguably the weakest division of the bracket. This honestly shocked me. I didn't think for a second that there would be so much difference between the two. I don't get how they came up with this seeding and don't understand the logic in it.

THE UNDERDOG

In my life I have almost always rooted for the underdog. I live in Cincinnati, so it's not like I have ever had much of a choice either. The last dominate team to roll out of the tri-state area would have been the Kentucky teams of 1995-1997. These teams just had players that could dominate a game. Now for those of you who don't think a Kentucky team counts, then the next closest thing would be the 1999-2000 UC Bearcats Basketball Team. Two words; Kenyon Martin. Had he not gotten injured in the Conference USA Tournament UC would have most likely won it all. They had one star and some great roll players on that team. They would just dominate opponents. They went undefeated in conference play (16-0) and were destroying teams every single week. If you want something more than that you have to go back to before I was born. Arguably the greatest team ever put together in the history of Professional baseball. The Reds of the 70's were loaded. The entire team should be in the hall of fame. Each player on the field defined that position for the era. They won or came in 2nd in the NL West every year except for 1971. They went to the World Series 4 times, winning 2 times. I could go into individual player accomplishments, but that would be a couple pages worth of stats. I was born in 1981, so I never got to see this amazing team play. I just get the stories from my Dad and Grandpa. I just hope that in my life time I do get the chance to see a dominate team in the area. The Reds look good and are coming around, so maybe it's closer than I think it is. 

I have come to realize that I really do love competition. I love that God gave me a heart that desires a challenge and that wants to be the best I can be. I am so blessed to have healthy competition each week, playing with guys whom I really enjoy spending time with. I am blessed to have a wife who challenges me when I am full of crap and who loves me the same despite my crap. I say all this to say, just remember that when you bracket goes to crap, it's okay. The Madness of March is for fun, not for stress and anxiety. Have fun and enjoy yourself in the process. And make sure to root for the underdog (GO BUTLER!).

Sick

I can't wait until there is no more sickness. I can't wait until I can see my Father's face everyday, in person. I can't wait to be able to put all brokenness behind me and live in a state of pure joy and peace. I know it might be tomorrow and I know it might be whenever my time on this earth ends. I know that God loves me and I know my current illness will pass. It's times like these where I truly appreciate the good health God has given me my entire life. I have been relatively healthy my entire life. I feel really lucky that God has given a renewed sense of health through running and helping me change my lifestyle. God blesses me in so many ways.

The one thing I tend to do when I get sick is feel sorry for myself. Today was no different than any other sick day. I felt bad for myself and started down some paths that I haven't been down in a while. I ate way too much today, I wasted so much time today, and I didn't spend any time with God. I had all this time today and I dedicated zero to the Creator of the universe. In hindsight, I wish I would have started this 'sick' day with prayer and reading. I truly think that would have changed my behavior during the day. Since I can't change anything I have done, I choose to change what I am doing now. I choose to move past these mistakes and live for God now.

I am realizing that each day is all about what you choose to make it. God didn't give us life so we could toil in the past or live in the future. He gave us life so we could enjoy the day He gives us. I choose to live for God today. Don't get me wrong, not everyday is going to be picture perfect. Not everyday is going to be exactly what you 'choose' it to be because you can't control everything in your life. What you can do is trust in Someone who does control all things. Putting your everything into your relationship with God, it will change everything. No matter what, when, or where you can know that God loves you and has a plan for your life. If you so choose you can live that life. Let me tell you from experience, it's AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

Just do it

Remember when that was the slogan? I remember Michael Jordan jumping and dunking. I remember wanting a pair of Nike Jordan's worse than anything in the world. I was in the 4th grade. I asked my mom if I could get a pair of Jordan's if I got straight A's. I got a 'yes' on this request. Which I thought, boom, it's in the bag. I was a good student, I worked hard, plus I had some natural smarts. In my mind I had just secured a pair of the coveted 'Air Jordan's' (how awesome are they!).

This was the first time in my education that my lack of natural ability in the area of English (Read, Writing) showed up. I struggled with my writing and reading was now dull and painful. I was naturally good at Science, Math, and Music, but English had now begun to give me issues. I can remember getting through the first half of the year with all A's. I was happy, but nervous. The second half turned out differently. I struggled with grammar and writing, I struggled badly. I couldn't just pay attention in class and get A's, I had to study. This did not come easy to me. I can remember laboring over my English books at night and hating every minute of it. I began to hate reading. This pattern of hate continued into my adult years.

I got my interim report card..... C+ in English. Back then your semester report card was on a heavy manilla stock paper that you used for the entire year. It was filled in by hand by your teacher. The interim report card was printed out on dot matrix paper. I can remember thinking I would destroy it and just tell my Mom that the printer wasn't working, so I didn't have a interim report card. I remember thinking about changing the grade  on the interim sheet. Then forging my teachers initials on the sheet to show that the computer got it wrong. If memory serves right I got really scared to do either and just gave it to my Mom. She immediately reminded me of our agreement, as if I had forgotten all about it.

I can remember that next 4.5 weeks pouring over my books. Doing everything I could to recover that grade before the end of the year. I worked harder than I had ever worked before. I can remember fore going video game play to study. This was serious. It began to click, at least some of it did. I still struggled but the extra intensity helped. I can remember another kid in my class had the Jordan's. His parents had just bought them for him because he wanted them. I guess living in upper-middle class America during the early 90's was pretty nice as a kid. Don't get me wrong, my parents took very good care of me. Remember these thoughts are coming from a 4th grader, so 'nothing is fair' and 'everyone is against you'. I worked and worked. I can remember seeing A's on papers again and being excited. I knew I was making up ground and closing the gap to secure my 'A'.

Finally the end of the school year came. I knew my manilla report card would be coming. I knew that I would be able to take it home and claim victory. They gave us our report cards a week before school was out. (Which I will add this proves that making up snow days in June is POINTLESS) I remember how excited I was to open that wrinkled, folded piece of paper. I opened it and started at the top. Skimming down to see A after A, then came English. A heavily written B+ stood in the column next to the word ENGLISH. It was written in a way that made me think it was an A-, but was then modified to be a B+. My school was on a 7 point (not 10 point as it is now), but 7 point grading scale. So a 93% was an A- and a 92% was a B+. I remember bolting from my chair to Mr. Gabbard's desk and asking if this was a mistake. That the originally written A- was correct and that this B+ was an intruder or an error of some sort. I can remember wanting to cry so bad and I tend to show that ALOT. I am assuming he saw this because he walked me outside of the room to talk to me. He told me that he had miscalculated my grade % and that it was caught when the teachers cross checked each other. He had calculated my grade to be a 92.5% which would round up to a 93% and be an A-. However when properly calculated by grade was actually a 92.4%, which was rounded down to be a B+. I understood math very, very well, so this explanation was enough for me. I returned to my desk, buried my head in my arms, and softly cried so others wouldn't hear me.

I remember leaving the report card at school for the next 4 days, until the last day of school. I had no choice but to take it home and show my mother. I can remember scheming on how to modify this B+, how to make it an A. I eventually resigned myself to the fact that this was going to happen and that the coveted Air Jordan's wouldn't be mine.

On the last day of school I took the card home, placed it on the kitchen table, and went to my room before my Mom could talk with me. I remember running up stairs (which is not easy for a fat kid) and crying face down on my bed, softly as to not let my Mom hear me. Eventually after I had calmed down I remember going down stairs to the family room and approaching my mom. The manilla report card sat on the end table next to our blue and white checkered couch. I sat down in the love seat at a 90 degree angle from my Mom. She eventually turned and picked up the report card. Opened it up and told me how proud she was of me. This, honestly, caught me off guard. I expected God Himself to be summoned by my Mother and fire to rain down from heaven and consume me (again 4th grader thought process). Instead she went on about the good job I did and how hard I worked. Again, I am in 4th grade, so sarcasm was not an option in my mind. I feared it was some sort of setup for the final blow of BUT YOU SCREWED UP ENGLISH!!! Finally she put the manilla report card down and went back to watching the show that was on TV. I was lost, had no idea if I was in another dimension or if this was real. I summed up the courage to ask about the B+. I am fairly sure tears were coming or my face was turning red at this point. She looked at me and again told me how proud she was that I brought the grade up and improved. I then moved the conversation to the agreement we had. This was very hard as I still didn't fully understand what was going on. She said, You put in your best and worked hard. You can get the shoes. I remember going from an unknown state of confusion to complete and utter Joy. I was so happy, I gave my Mom a hug and ran back up to my room to cry some more.

Now that I look back on that, I see the real heart of that story. My mother, even though her and I made a very specific agreement, showed me Grace. Our story with God is not much different. God created us, gave us a very specific agreement and we broke it. Since then Grace has been the theme of the human story. From Noah, to Moses, to Abraham, to Joshua, to Daniel, to David, to Jesus. With Jesus being the ultimate form of Love and Grace. My mother didn't want me to be a robot and execute her commands. She wanted me to grow and become a more educated person. She wanted me to grow up and be able to contribute to the society at large and have relationships with other people. She wanted me to learn the value of hard work. Much like my Mother, God wants us to get the heart of who He is. It's not about the rules and regulations. It about the condition of your heart. When you engage God, come with who you are. Let God shape you and the rules and regulations will come as an overflow of the Love and Joy He puts into you. Know that God wants a relationship with you and he wants to give you Grace. He wants to Love you and give you Joy. God is NOT a scary ogre who wants to crush you with his rules and power. He wants a relationship with you, He wants to show you Love. His Love is great, His Love is Jesus. 

Comfortable, Cozy Convictions

I am tired of it.....

I am tired of being a comfortable follower...
I am tired of feeling cozy in my own skin...
I am tired of putting off my convictions because they are not convenient...
I am tired of doing the "easy things" in life...

I heard a quote the other day that is really affecting me, "You don't have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." - C.S. Lewis. This really struck me the other day. I am a creation of the God of the universe, and I will exist beyond this earth. That's just to say that part of me, my soul, will go past this life. My physical body is just a temporary house that I have been given. I should take care of it and be a good steward of what God has given me. That's just crazy, it doesn't seem real. 


I know some people would discount this idea, but I believe it. Not because someone told me to, or because I read a book and found an answer. Although those things might have helped me reach my decision on this issue, it wasn't the deciding factor. The deciding factor comes from all around me. God's creation, my relationship with God, my relationship with others, the changes I see in my life as a result of God's hand. In short, the experiences of my life lead me to no other conclusion. I can't get away from God, no matter how hard I try sometimes. I run like Jonah, but I eventually get swallowed up. It's always inside my own "whale" that I realize God is there and always will be.


I know who God is. I talk to Him all the time. I feel His love daily. I highly recommend Jesus. He is the way to peace and love.


I say all these things because I don't want to be the couch sitting, comfortable, cozy Christ Follower. I want to hear God's voice daily. I want others to look at me and see Christ. I want to be a light in this world. I want to show people the awesomeness of God. I want to show others His Love. I have begun to seek Him with all that I am. I can only image what will come next. Praise God for His Love and Faithfulness!!!

I have days like you

In the end I realize that all of us, each and everyone of us, are pretty much even in this life. That's a pretty powerful statement considering we have presidents and war lords who warrant respect or induce fear. We also have broken, homeless addicts who depend on a substance just to make it through the day. Can you look in the mirror and say, "yep we are all even" and not feel a little weird about that statement. I am a middle class white male living in the heartland of the United States. I know nothing of poverty or oppression. I know nothing of being a billionaire or hanging with the cultural elite. What I have realized in the last couple of months is that not one of us, not a single one, is any more special or better than the other. That homeless person might have once been a powerful executive and that star football player might have been an abused child living in poverty. Each one of us is Loved the same and all of us were created with a purpose.

Love is a hard word for people to understand in today's society. Today people 'love' TV or food. People 'love' a car or a scary movie. I am not talking about the word that is tossed around high school hallways like a football. I am not talking about the way a 5 year old would 'love' to eat ice cream for every meal (which, if it wouldn't make me the size of a whale, I would be up for as well). I am talking about the Love that God gives. This is different from any type of 'love' we know in the U.S. It is more powerful than anything we have experienced as a culture. It is the ultimate joy, a feeling that words don't do justice to. This Love goes beyond normal human understanding. It releases all shame, guilt, lies, sin, heartache, pain, and hurt from your heart. God's Love fills your soul and body with joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. God's Love makes me smile, for no reason other than I feel His Love. God's Love makes me laugh and feel lifted up when I am down.

God wrote down His story of Love for us in the Bible. This book gives you everything you need to know about how the Creator of humanity Love's us and wants to share a relationship with us. The level of joy that I get from typing these words is beyond anything I know in the world. I was very excited when the Packers beat the dirty Steelers on Sunday. I was very excited when I held my little puggle dog in my arms for the first time. I was caught up on a cloud the day I married my wife. I can still remember just wanting to cry while we were up in front of friends, family, and God. I just felt so much joy knowing that she would be apart of my life as long as I live. I cried like a baby the second we finished are walk down the isle as a married couple. Even that experience, as amazing as it was, does not compare to the Love that God gives me daily! The incredible thing about Our God is that He gives us His Love to experience every day. We have the choice to experience and live in His Love or not. It's completely up to us. Some days I feel like crap and just don't want to talk to anyone, especially God. Those are the days I NEED His Love the most. When I do look up and cry out, His Love is faithful and constant. It breaks through all evil and brings peace to my heart.

I have days like you. I feel stuck in the mud and I feel the blues. I choose to let God's Love in and that has made all the difference in my life.

Super Sunday

Today the super bowl occurs. This happens once a year and is a HUGE event in this country. People go to great lengths to party, eat, and drink today. Mostly due to the overwhelming popularity of the NFL, but some just love football as a sport. I like to think I love football as a sport. I can watch any game, regardless of how bad the match up. I jut enjoy the game and the strategy involved. It's such a brutal, physical game. At the same time it takes deep analysis, smarts, and strategy to win. It's just a great game.

Now I realize that to Pittsburgh and Green Bay fans this is a HUGE day. Some would say it might be the "biggest day of their lives", which I find sorta funny. I get the team loyalty thing, yada yada yada. But most important day of your lives? Really!? I mean the day you got married or the day your first child was born is ranked out by a game that you aren't playing in and can't affect the outcome in? I mean for me if the Bengals were in the Super Bowl (not while MB is still in control), it would be cool, but not one of the most important days of my life. I consider myself a pretty hardcore football fan, but not that much.

For me the most important or in this case 'Super' days of my life happen quiet often. On Friday night I wrestled around with my dog and spent time with my wife. That's a pretty Super day to me. Much more so than watching something on TV. I would say one of the most important or 'Super' days of my life came almost 16 years ago. When as a unaware, awkward, and socially clumsy 13 year old I walked up to an old wooden alter and knelled before God and pledged my life to Him.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I had never given my life over to God even though I had been raised in the church. I went forward and accepted a change in my life that would transform the rest of my life. Jesus Christ completely changed me from the inside out. It was by far the biggest Super Sunday of my life.

Today as we celebrate and watch a game, remember that some 2000 years ago God sent His Son to live on this earth and die a death to give us freedom and grace. Today could be the most Super day of your life, if you give your life to the God who created you and made the ultimate sacrifice for you. Understand that God loves you and wants a relationship with you, that's His Super Story.

Why A.J. would work for the Bengals

So I am going to preface this by saying the following:

"I am still not happy with Mike Brown. Getting rid of Bob Bratkowski was a good first step. But he needs to fix the Palmer issue, draft well, and get some free agents to fill key roles. If the Palmer situation blows up and Mike acts like Mike Brown does, I will never support the Bengals again in any way shape or form."

Now with that being said, let's talk A.J. Hawk.

He is owed 11 million dollars next year and the Packers already have long term deals in place with three other backers and you can bet Clay Matthews gets a long term deal after this year. So you can pretty much bet he will be the odd man out in Green Bay. He is 27 years old, fast, a good signal caller, a great tackler, has a nose for the football, and he knows how to hold together a line backing core. He is very comfortable in the 4-3 (see OSU career stats) and he would work incredibly well in Mike Zimmer's system.

The Bengals currently have Dhani Jones, who has been 'serviceable' as a middle linebacker/signal caller. He lacks the tackling ability that a true MLB needs (which is why the Eagles let him go) and doesn't have the speed to cover the area that a MLB covers in a system like Mike's. He is a very smart player technically, but doesn't have a 'nose for the ball' like most all pro MLB's do. He is 32 and one more thing, he played at Michigan.

Some will look at this and say, what about Rey Maualuga? I would say, yeah what about him? He hasn't really excelled in Mike's defense, even though he has never played his true position which is MLB. Last year he showed glimpses of finally being comfortable at the OLB spot. So why push him back in the middle and start the process all over again? Others will say hey we have Brandon Johnson who is awesome off the bench. I would say you are right, he is good off the bench. If he was good enough to play in the middle, guess what, he would be starting. (I am not bringing up Rivers because he is an OLB by trade).


What about moving to a 3-4 hybrid? I am not against that, but you need a solid MLB to do it, and AJ could be that guy. Look at what he did in GB this season. If you could put Rivers and Michael Johnson on the outside and play AJ and Rey up the middle, it would get nasty. In addition Carlos Dunlap looked crazy towards the end of the season when lining up as an OLB/DE. This would free up guys like Geathers, Peko, Sims, Fanene, and Rucker to get more 1 on 1's rather than the double teams they normally get. I think this could be a nasty defense if the Bengals brought in a solid MLB like A.J. and converted to a 3-4 hybrid. Even if you didn't convert to 3-4, it would shore up a weak middle that the Bengals have been trying to fill since Spikes walked away in 2002 and Odell when crazy after his rookie season.


So I am saying Keep Carson and Go Get A.J. ! Mike, you don't look nearly as bad as Al Davis yet. Hopefully their is a glimmer of hope at the end of this REALLY LONG tunnel....

Work for GE, forever.....

I have been thinking about my career lately. I am currently working as a contractor at GE. I see myself doing ministry at some point in my life, but that could just continue to be volunteer based. I thought about the idea of working for someone like GE the rest of my professional career. The chances of this happening are very slim just from a normal turn over perspective for a company like GE. At the same time this company is huge, I manage a critical piece of it that will NEVER go away, and I get to work from home every now and then. To clarify this, I am a contractor at GE, not a full time GE employee. So being a contractor for 30+ years could happen, but again is not likely. Then I thought about the idea of, working for GE, like on GE's pay roll. This is a weird road to walk down and here is why.

I have an issue with working for a company that is so big. I really do prefer working for the small to medium sized company. Some things at GE work so well, and others not so much. I happen to manage a very small section of GE's infrastructure. So everything I do has to get 'cleared' by at least 3-5 people each time I want to do something or fix something. This gets tiresome and it tends to weigh on me. I like making progress and solving problems in a timely manner. There really isn't room for that with all the checks and balances involved with working for such a big company.

So where does that leave me? I used to think that question was a very important one to have answered. In fact, I still find myself asking that question on occasion. I have come to realize that I need to aspire to things, but I cannot let them consume me. I have to work daily at what I do and strive to follow God's plan for my life. For me that looks like engaging my relationship with our Creator daily and trusting Him with my next day, next step, and next breath. This has brought me so much freedom. When I say that I mean I don't have the weight of tomorrow or a year from now or 10 years from now or when I die on my shoulders. I just embrace the life God has given me and live it. This makes living life so much easier and really allows me to be the man God wants me to be.

I would love to talk more about this, you know where to find me.

I can't spell and rush sometimes

So I created a blog last week. Unfortunately I created 'nicklesoda' and not NickelSoda. I am awesome at rushing things and not editing. I am also awesome at spelling, so go figure that I wouldn't spell the actual site name correctly. Either way, this is my blog, let's go.